Sunday, October 9, 2016

More on the Cleave Hay(na)ku


In my previous post, I proposed a new form: the cleave hay(na)ku. The example I gave in that post worked like this, using letters to stand for words in this illustration.
A
B C
D E F    
a
b c
d e f
In my Craft of Poetry class, we have been talking about tercets, or three-line stanzas, and of course the hay(na)ku is a tercet form. Last week, in that context, I brought up Eileen Tabios's new rippled mirror hay(na)ku and also the cleave hay(na)ku. After class, my student Jed Kurth pointed out that the hay(na)ku on the right could be a reverse hay(na)ku, like this.
A
B C
D E F    
a b c
d e
f
Thanks, Jed. In looking at how such a format would be understood, the left hay(na)ku would read A B C D E F ; the right one would be a b c d e f ; and the combined poem (paying attention to line breaks) would say A a b c / B C d e / D E F f . There's a really cool symmetry in this set-up having four words per line, overall.

Since that class three days ago, Jed has emailed me three cleave hay(na)ku with a reverse hay(na)ku on the right side. Three! So cool. (Friends, I'll let you work out the three readings of each cleave: left, right, and combined.)

Will You?

why
not say
you love me
you want to
(or) maybe
not.

 
Ignorance

was
that you
I searched for
no one aware
did know
her

 
So Sue Me, Disney

when
you wish
upon a star
you are hungry
to dine
fish

—Drafts by Jedediah Kurth    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

Jed, these are very good. I particularly like how the combined poem reads in your last cleave hay(na)ku: "when you are hungry / you wish to dine / upon a star fish." How witty and fun!

I've also written a cleave hay(na)ku with a reverse hay(na)ku on the right. Thanks for the inspiration, Jed.

Hereafter

forever
and ever
amen, but then  
a long time
after saying
what?

—Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

I'm particularly proud of the combined poem in my cleave: "forever a long time / and ever after saying / amen, but then what?"

Thanks again, Jed, for giving us a wider window into the possibilities of the cleave hay(na)ku. I hope, poet friends, you will give this new form a try. As I said last time, it's quite an interesting and fun challenge.


Everyone, won’t you comment, please? Love to know what you’re thinking. To comment, look for a red line below that starts Posted by, then click once on the word comments in that line. If you don’t find the word "comments" in that line, then look for a blue link below that says Post a comment and click it once. Thanks!

Ingat, everyone.   

 

Friday, October 7, 2016

The Cleave Hay(na)ku


I was talking via email recently with Eileen Tabios, inventor of the hay(na)ku form, about her new variation, the Rippled Mirror Hay(na)ku, and I wrote one in honor (or maybe in dishonor?) of our current presidential election.

Mirror

I'm
Donald Trump.
Best president ever.

Bust. President never.
Donald Trump.
Um . . .

—Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

As you can see, in the rippled mirror hay(na)ku, the reflection is vertical. The word "best" in line 3 is reflected in line 4 (in rippled fashion) by "bust." The word "I'm" in line 1 is ripple-reflected in line 6 by "Um." See here for more on this new variation.

Well, I wondered, could the reflection be horizontal rather than vertical? I was reminded of the Cleave poetic form. Basically, the cleave features a left side poem, a right side poem, and then a combined poem. This is most easily explained in columns:
A     a
B     b
C     c
If we imagine the letters above are lines in a cleave poem, the left side poem would be read down as A B C, the right side poem would be a b c, and then the combined poem would be read across as A a B b C c.


I'd like to propose a new variation then: the Cleave Hay(na)ku. I'll give you an example first; it might be clearer than a definition at this point. Please note: this is more of a demo than an actual poem.

Mycelia

mushrooms
live forever
like strange ghosts
      do
you know
that people eat

—Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

Here are the three different poems that we can read:
left side
right side
combined      
mushrooms live forever like strange ghosts
do you know that people eat
mushrooms do live forever you know like strange ghosts that people eat
So there you go. The Cleave Hay(na)ku . . . two hay(na)ku side-by-side, where the hay(na)ku on the left is read as one poem, the hay(na)ku on the right is read as a second poem, and then both hay(na)ku are read as a third, combined poem, both first lines together, then the second lines, and finally both third lines.

I hope you'll give these two new forms a try. They're quite the poetic challenges. In fact, Eileen has issued a call for rippled mirror hay(na)ku and cleave hay(na)ku here, with a deadline of 15 November 2016.

In Eileen's hay(na)ku blog, there's a page documenting all the known variations of hay(na)ku. Check it out . . . there might be a form there you'd like to give a whirl.


Friends, won’t you comment, please? Love to know what you’re thinking. To comment, look for a red line below that starts Posted by, then click once on the word comments in that line. If you don’t find the word "comments" in that line, then look for a blue link below that says Post a comment and click it once. Thanks!

Ingat, everyone.   





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