More on the Cleave Hay(na)ku

In my previous post, I proposed a new form: the cleave hay(na)ku. The example I gave in that post worked like this, using letters to stand for words in this illustration. A B C D E F     a b c d e f In my Craft of Poetry class, we have been talking about tercets, or three-line stanzas, and of course the hay(na)ku is a tercet form. Last week, in that context, I brought up Eileen Tabios's new rippled mirror hay(na)ku and also the cleave hay(na)ku. After class, my student Jed Kurth pointed out that the hay(na)ku on the right could be a reverse hay(na)ku, like this. A B C D E F     a b c d e f Thanks, Jed. In looking at how such a format would be understood, the left hay(na)ku would read A B C D E F ; the right one would be a b c d e f ; and the combined poem (paying attention to line breaks) would say A a b c / B C d e / D E F f . There's a really cool symmetry in this set-up having four words per line, overall. Since that class three days ago, Jed has emailed me three cleave hay(na)ku with a reverse hay(na)ku on the right side. Three! So cool. (Friends, I'll let you work out the three readings of each cleave: left, right, and combined.) Will You? why not say you love me you want to (or) maybe not.   Ignorance was that you I searched for no one aware did know her   So Sue Me, Disney when you wish upon a star you are hungry to dine fish —Drafts by Jedediah Kurth    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Jed, these are very good. I particularly like how the combined poem reads in your last cleave hay(na)ku: "when you are hungry / you wish to dine / upon a star fish." How witty and fun! I've also written a cleave hay(na)ku with a reverse hay(na)ku on the right. Thanks for the inspiration, Jed. Hereafter forever and ever amen, but then   a long time after saying what? —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] I'm particularly proud of the combined poem in my cleave: "forever a long time / and ever after saying / amen, but then what?" Thanks again, Jed, for giving us a wider window into the possibilities of the cleave hay(na)ku. I hope, poet friends, you will give this new form a try. As I said last time, it's quite an interesting and fun challenge. Everyone, won’t you comment, please? Love to know what you’re thinking. To comment, look for a red line below that starts Posted by, then click once on the word comments in that line. If you don’t find the word "comments" in that line, then look for a blue link below that says Post a comment and click it once. Thanks! Ingat, everyone.  ヅ