Sunday, October 9, 2016

More on the Cleave Hay(na)ku


In my previous post, I proposed a new form: the cleave hay(na)ku. The example I gave in that post worked like this, using letters to stand for words in this illustration.
A
B C
D E F    
a
b c
d e f
In my Craft of Poetry class, we have been talking about tercets, or three-line stanzas, and of course the hay(na)ku is a tercet form. Last week, in that context, I brought up Eileen Tabios's new rippled mirror hay(na)ku and also the cleave hay(na)ku. After class, my student Jed Kurth pointed out that the hay(na)ku on the right could be a reverse hay(na)ku, like this.
A
B C
D E F    
a b c
d e
f
Thanks, Jed. In looking at how such a format would be understood, the left hay(na)ku would read A B C D E F ; the right one would be a b c d e f ; and the combined poem (paying attention to line breaks) would say A a b c / B C d e / D E F f . There's a really cool symmetry in this set-up having four words per line, overall.

Since that class three days ago, Jed has emailed me three cleave hay(na)ku with a reverse hay(na)ku on the right side. Three! So cool. (Friends, I'll let you work out the three readings of each cleave: left, right, and combined.)

Will You?

why
not say
you love me
you want to
(or) maybe
not.

 
Ignorance

was
that you
I searched for
no one aware
did know
her

 
So Sue Me, Disney

when
you wish
upon a star
you are hungry
to dine
fish

—Drafts by Jedediah Kurth    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

Jed, these are very good. I particularly like how the combined poem reads in your last cleave hay(na)ku: "when you are hungry / you wish to dine / upon a star fish." How witty and fun!

I've also written a cleave hay(na)ku with a reverse hay(na)ku on the right. Thanks for the inspiration, Jed.

Hereafter

forever
and ever
amen, but then  
a long time
after saying
what?

—Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

I'm particularly proud of the combined poem in my cleave: "forever a long time / and ever after saying / amen, but then what?"

Thanks again, Jed, for giving us a wider window into the possibilities of the cleave hay(na)ku. I hope, poet friends, you will give this new form a try. As I said last time, it's quite an interesting and fun challenge.


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Ingat, everyone.   

 

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