Day Ten ... NaPoWriMo / Poem-a-Day 2015

Day Ten. Yesterday was 30%. Somehow, though, part of me wants to think the tenth day is 30%, not the ninth day. For a guy who had once strongly considered a math major — can you believe it? — that's terrible. Yeah yeah. National Poetry Month is 33% gone. (Actually 33.33333333333%.) The great thing, though, is that there is still 67% poetry to go. (Yeah, I know . . . 66.66666666667%.) Extend those 3's and 6's as far out as you want! Maureen Thorson's NaPoWriMo prompt: "Today I challenge you to write an abecedarian poem — a poem with a structure derived from the alphabet. There are a couple of ways of doing this. You could write a poem of 26 words, in which each word begins with a successive letter of the alphabet. You could write a poem of 26 lines, where each line begins with a successive letter." Robert Lee Brewer's PAD suggestion: "For today’s prompt, take the phrase 'How (blank),' replace the blank with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of your poem, and then, write your poem. Possible titles include: 'How to Write a Poem,' 'How Mechanical Pencils Work,' and 'Howling at the Moon After Midnight in the Middle of a Thunderstorm.'" "The combination of prompts today," says our friend Alan, "has led to a curious result. Maureen Thorson on her NaPoWriMo site invites participants to write abecedarian poems today, and Robert Lee Brewer on his "poem a day" site invites "how to" poems today. Naturally, a poem about how to write an abecedarian poem has to happen, and I'm offering some (likely unneeded) advice to Vince. I'm thinking a coloring book with my examples should follow next." Abecedarian Advice for Vince Gotera It is a contrived form that struggles in our language; we do not have so many words that start with Q, X, Y, and Z, so I will help you. Write abecedarians about Republicans. It’s not that hard. First, resist all profane labels; keep to pure, descriptive terms. Don’t go the easy way, with A for assholes — name-calling won’t have the same effect as fact. Write anti-intellectuals, then birthers and climate deniers. Follow up with exceptionalists and fascists, then gynephobes to sound timely, and homophobes for hard truth. Consider making each line one word of a descriptive term, suggesting that they are Hellbent in justifying KKK- like manipulated nationalist oppression. I trust you most of the way, but plutocrats and quaestors should get you through the middle part; don’t forget useful adjectives, like regressive, strident, and, purely for truthful shock, timid (because calling them teabaggers offends them), and return to the nouns, usurers, villains, and whores. Then close in a flourish with xenophobes, yahoos, and zealots. Think of it as a mystery — figure out the end first, and work backwards. Real words, not onomatopoeia, and fearless dictionary work keep you extra honest. No yabba-dabba-do-ing, please, and you’re welcome. —Draft by Thomas Alan Holmes    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Thank you, Alan, for your heartfelt instructions on writing an abecedarian. Which you very complimentarily said might "likely [be] unneeded." Merging the abecedarian and "how_____" prompts also, I offer you in turnabout some advice on how to be a grouch (likely unneeded, as you said about your suggestions above). Just kidding, buddy. How to Be a Curmudgeon Alan, being snarky can be a difficult endeavor. First, give up heaven. I mean that. Just decide Krampus “love” trumps manners, niceness, or any and all pleasantries. Quit romantic sentiments, even to your beloved. Uproot vigorously whatever might X out your zest in nastiness. —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] In the third line from the bottom, I had at one point the word "expunge," but then, Alan, I recalled your fine suggestion that there should "not [be] onomatopeia" in getting the alphabet into the poem. So who'd a-thunk it? Your advice was in fact needed, Alan. And much appreciated. Just want to clarify, friends, that I mean no offense to Alan. All completely fictional. Just trying to get through the alphabet! And now I've got a surprise guest poet. My girlfriend Kathleen Ann Lawrence rocked the abecedarian form today. She wrote three one-word-per-letter abecedarians in about a half hour. That's phenomenal! Breakfast   Almost before coffee dawns, excited fools gush heartfelt intentions. Just know, love means never operating possessively, quixotically, regarding sweethearts. Take umbrage — valentines wielding xylophones yield zealots.                                 Bath   After bathing, carefully dusting every feminine gear honing imagination. Joyously, Kathleen leans, meeting naked opportunities. Posing queenlike, rhyming song to unsung visions, wonderfully X-rayed yearning zooms.                                 Beauty   As beauty curdles, dying, each fear grasps her insecurities. Judicious, keen, loving messages nurture onerous probing queries, risking sanity. Together, undeterred, vexing wrinkles ’xuding youthful zaftig! —Draft by Kathleen Ann Lawrence    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Kathy's first serious abecederian-making is tremendous. Brava brava brava! Three bravas for three abecedarians!  ヅ  I particularly like the apostrophe used in place of the opening e in "exuding" to keep the alphabet use classic and clean. Friends, won't you comment, please? Love to know what you're thinking. To comment, look for a red line below that starts Posted by, then click once on the word comments in that line. If you don't find the word "comments" in that line, then look for a blue link below that says Post a comment and click it once. Thanks! Ingat, everyone.  ヅ

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