Monday, April 6, 2015

Day Six ... NaPoWriMo / Poem-a-Day 2015


Day Six. Now 1/5 of the way through National Poem. Still 4/5 to go so lots more NaPoWriMo and Poem-a-Day pieces to read out there on the web. Twenty-four more days of poetic goodness. Be sure to check out the comments to each day in the NaPoWriMo and PAD webpages where participants post their day's poems. Speaking of which . . .

Maureen Thorson's NaPoWriMo suggested form today is the aubade: "morning poems, about dawn and daybreak, [which often] take the form of lovers' morning farewells."
Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
Dans le Lit / In Bed (1893)
Robert Lee Brewer's PAD challenge for day six is a "things-not-as-they-appear poem."

An interesting challenge to try to combine these two prompts, especially if one takes on the aubade as a poem about lovers awakening at morning. Well, I think I successfully combined the two prompts. You be the judge. Here you go.

Aubade

Steve grinned, waking up
to see Stephanie’s cute face,
freckled, soft pink lips

parted slightly, lace
lingerie showing pale throat.
Spring morning sun’s rays

streaming in to light
Steph’s bobbed hair on ginger fire.
Her eyes opened, cobalt.

“Can’t believe you’re here,”
he said. She smiled, then her tongue —
black, forked — shot out, her

teeth yellow and crooked, fanged.
He screamed. Then woke up. Alone.

—Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

This is a terza rima haiku sonnet, a form I invented. The first four stanzas are each a 5-7-5 haiku (in form, not sense), followed by a closing couplet of 7-7. The rhymes are terza rima, interlocked triple rhyme — aba bcb cdc ded ee — often slant rhymed. Give the form a try!

Alan's intro today: "I attempted to combine the two prompts again, the aubade and the 'things are not as they seem' challenges."

Elopement Aubade

Beyond your sleeping form I see the sun;
It rises on our unfamiliar day.
No longer two, we start today as one.

It’s not the life we thought we had begun.
Without their blessing, we fear what they’d pray.
Beyond your sleeping form I see the sun.

Afraid, committed to our loving run,
You fell asleep with hurt from what they’d say.
No longer two, we start today as one.

They thought our love was only play and fun
and learned, too late, their own was in decay.
Beyond your sleeping form I see the sun.

Regrets? I’ve none at all. I’ve none.
The state line’s just a few more miles away.
No longer two, we start today as one.

And you, my darling, think of what we’ve done
with happiness. Be brave. We’ll find our way.
Beyond your sleeping form I see the sun.
No longer two, we start today as one.

—Draft by Thomas Alan Holmes    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

Alan, great job with the villanelle and also with the prompt combining. My favorite line is "Regrets? I've none at all. I've none." The repetition of "I've none" suggests the possibility that the speaker doth protest too much. And that there are deeper, perhaps contradictory meanings in the poem. Bravo.

Friends, won't you comment, please? Love to know what you're thinking. To comment, look for a red line below that starts Posted by, then click once on the word comments in that line. If you don't find the word "comments" in that line, then look for a blue link below that says Post a comment and click it once. Thanks!

Ingat, everyone.   


NAPOWRIMO / PAD 2015 • Pick a day in April: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30


5 comments:

vstefani said...

Hmmm. Another aswang? I like it, and I am considering various scenarios that might follow or precede this one.

Thomas Alan Holmes said...

I've got to admit, Vince, combining these two today about wore me out.

Vince Gotera said...

Vick, not an aswang this time. Though I wrote "Aswang Love" on day four. You should check that poem out.

Alan, come on. Out of 19 lines, you had 2 that were each re-used 3 times. So you only had 15 different lines. :-D Just kidding. Hope you're all rested up!

Vince Gotera said...

Vick, just checked your poem six. Brava!

Yup, not an aswang but a dreamboat, for sure.

Bruce Niedt said...

Ha! i like that sonnet, Vince - it seems to fit loosely with your "aswang" series. And you know me, the form junkie - I'll just have to try this form. I invented one called the "pan-ku" - you can find it in a now-defunct e-zine called Tilt-a-Whirl: http://www.umbrellajournal.com/TiltArchive/nonce/CarefulintheFog.html

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