Sunday, April 23, 2017

Day 23 ... NaPoWriMo / Poem-a-Day 2017


Ending the third week of NaPoWriMo, kinda. Seven days left after today. Trying this month to always do both prompts, find some way to bridge them. Been successful so far. Hoping the prompts from here on out cooperate!

Maureen Thorson’s NaPoWriMo prompt: "Our prompt for Day Twenty-Three comes to us from Gloria Gonsalves, who challenges us to write a double elevenie. What’s that? Well, an elevenie is an eleven-word poem of five lines, with each line performing a specific task in the poem. The first line is one word, a noun. The second line is two words that explain what the noun in the first line does, the third line explains where the noun is in three words, the fourth line provides further explanation in four words, and the fifth line concludes with one word that sums up the feeling or result of the first line’s noun being what it is and where it is. . . . A double elevenie would have two stanzas of five lines each, and twenty-two words in all. It might be fun to try to write your double elevenie based on two nouns that are opposites, like sun and moon, or mountain and sea."

Robert Lee Brewer’s Poem-a-Day prompt: "take the phrase 'Last (blank),' replace the blank with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of your poem, and then, write your poem. Possible titles include: 'Last Straighter,' 'Last Unicorn,' 'Last Day of Summer,' 'Last Cookie in the Cookie Jar,' and so on."


"The problem" with today's prompts, Alan wrote when he sent me his poem, "had to do with Brewer's fixing a word in the title and then following the form encouraged by Thorson, so I remembered something from a long time ago. I am not sure I handled Brewer's prompt the way he intends, but when one offers a word that has any number of meanings, one risks unexpected responses."

Last

Last
Foot form
In cordwainer’s shop
New leather, new footwear
Beginning

Last
Foot form
In cobbler’s shop
Repairing burst and worn
Sustaining

—Draft by Thomas Alan Holmes    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

Wonderful, Alan! I love the word "cordwainer" because I find the connection with "Cordoba" (as in Spanish leather) intriguing and I am also a huge fan of science-fiction writer Cordwainer Smith. If any of you gentle readers don't know his SF, you gotta check it out.

I wrote Alan back, in response to this poem, "Very nicely done. You really nail the opposition idea Thorson suggests. Sorry 'nail' was a bad pun. Can one even get leather shoes worked on these days?" As a child, I loved going to a shoe repair shop and smelling the leather in the air. I suppose you'd have to go to a saddle shop now to have that experience. Do saddleries repair leather shoes? Where are the shoes of yesteryear?


Okay, here's my attempt to mash up "Last ____" with the double elevenie. Trying also to accommodate Thorson's challenge to address opposing ideas in the two elevenies.

Last Day

sunrise
morning starts
eastern horizon lightening
just like every other
day

end
life's last
look far westward
shuddering breath, eyes close
sunset

—Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.]

This is the first time I've tried to write an elevenie . . . never heard about it before, actually. What do you think, o gentle readers? I tried to write lines that were both endstopped and enjambed. In other words, they could be read as individual self-contained lines at the same time that they could spill over into the other lines, backward and forward. Hope it worked out.


Friends, won’t you comment, please? Love to know what you’re thinking. To comment, look for a red line below that starts Posted by, then click once on the word comments in that line. If you don’t find the word “comments” in that line, then look for a blue link below that says Post a comment and click it once. Thanks!

Ingat, everyone.   


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2 comments:

Bruce Niedt said...

Yes, I do like the structure of these, how they can be read forward or backward. I wrote three today - two doubles and a single. (Would that be a "fifty-five-ie"?)

Vince Gotera said...

Thanks, Bruce! Coming over to look at your 55ie.

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